on anger, but pls never perceive me as angry
technically the official name of this blog is Laughing Crying Screaming. also, I lied again & this one is paywalled out the gate bc I love evolving rules (boundaries).
I've inadvertently been processing my relationship to anger the last week or two, both my anger and others’. It really kicked off when I had the revelation that—physiologically, anger feels the same way to me as “love.” Scare quotes because… well, I'm still trying to figure out what love is and maybeee also the feeling I'm so tempted to call “love” is more like.. “infatuation.” Honestly, I really reject that notion, but perhaps it's somewhere in-between the two, in a place of nuance not captured by the English language. It's captured in the body, though—by a pounding heart, the rush of adrenaline in the tips of your limbs, euphoria turned up and pain turned numb, wanna smash. Does that sound like anger or does that sound like love?